Saturday, December 8, 2007

The Tattooist

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, the Addicts of Ink !!

I have not been updating much recently in my blog. Sorry to keep you guys waiting. Its not been a busy month recently, so just as to take a break from work, I decided to catch a movie after a long time.

Yes, you guessed it !! I did watch "The Tattooist".

Before I carry on with the comments I have to make about the movie, I would like to make an announcement.

"By continuing to read on to what Immortal Tattoos, or the Tattoo Artist (Myself) have to say, you have agreed to lose all political powers and legal rights against Immortal Tattoos, or the Tattoo Artist (Myself). If you don't agree to MY terms, please fuck off NOW!! But if you don't agree and still want to carry on reading, please be advised that you are automatically registered as an asswipe - In other words, you still lose all political powers and legal rights against Immortal Tattoos!!" - Thank You -

So lets, get back to my story about the movie.

I saw the trailers and it was very captivating and I told myself, "Man I have to watch it!" I also got calls from my friends asking me to go watch it, since it was good. ( In their opinion that is. )

So, there I was, in my seat, watching the movie and then... I FELL ASLEEP !! Boys and Gals and children of all ages, "The Tattooist" - SUCKED !!

If you are going to watch the movie, please don't waste your money. Donate it to the poor and the needy (Maybe to the guys who made that movie? I don't think so !!). If you have already watched it and think its good, I am happy for you.

Let me summarize how the movie went, even though I fell asleep.

The movie begins, with the "hero" on bed, having nightmares about the tattoo he got when he was a kid. And how his dad was religious and cut off the skin where the tattoo was. "Hero" wakes up and walks butt naked to the window and stands there, looking. (Maybe he was wondering where he left his clothes).

Some parts of the movie was taken in Singapore,and they had to show the Merlion. "Hero" will be in a car, and he will reach to a big house out of nowhere. A butler opens the door and welcomes the "hero" in. The owner of the house, walks down the stairs and talks crap to the "Hero" and brings him up to a room, where the owner's son is.
( This is not Brokeback Mountain, so no gay shit, ok? )

Next scene shows the boy who looked sick and seems to have asthma attack or something. The owner turned to the "hero" and said "No monk want to mark him". The owner gives the "Hero" and envelope, probably containg the cheque and asked him to tattoo the kid.


(Thing is, the "Hero" gives everyone the impression that his tattoos can heal people, and therefore he was asked to the house to tattoo the sick kid, hoping it would save the kid's life.)

"Hero" will take out his dirty case, takes out the machine and the grips and place them nicely. He puts the grip to the machine, (without even putting in the needle), goes over to the boy, ( who looked 10-12yrs of age ), and starts tattooing, without freehanding anything or even putting on a stencil. Everything in that scene was screwed up !!

"Hero" then leaves after doing the thai chakra/mantra on the kid. "Hero" will then be in a Tattoo Expo in some building called "CAPITAL or CAPITOL" with the letter "L" blinking. Tattoo Expo in a rundown building?

"Hero" then steals the handmade needle from the Saomans and leave the building. And guess what?! The owner of the big house comes up to him and says his son is dead and that the tattoo did not work and threatens the "Hero".

Lets rewind here, shall we? The guy in the big house, who is rich and powerful, said that no monk wants to mark his son. Then why would he trust this guy who tattoos by machine?! Since it was given the impression all these was in Singapore, which monk in Singapore actually tattoos anyone?!! What an idiot ! He could have paid some monk to fly in from Thailand instead to help his son. And, what kind of Tattoo Artist would tattoo a small boy who is so sick? Its against the code of Tattoo Industry.

In my opinion, the boy did not die because he was sick. Let alone if the tattoo worked in healing or not. He died from infection from the unsterilised equiptments used. The grips were not even in a sealed pack, neither was it disposable ones if you have noticed.

"Hero" gets cut by the handmade needle used by the Samon. The wound was like 3-5cm on his palm. Next couple of scenes later, his wound would be like 8-10cm long, then after couple of scene, the wound would become smaller again to the original size. Come on !! Can't they decide how big they want the blady wound to be?

Whoever get tattooed by the "Hero" would die, because some demon tattoos behind the scene on the clients. The demon looks nowhere like what they want to portray it to be. The demon is suppose to be a Saoman who was killed because his tattoos were not done right. But honestly, it looked more like he was a native from the African Tribe. Again, they can't decide on what they want !!

I just can go on and on about the movie, but when the dust is settled, all I can say is, the movie was VERY BAD. It was very degrading to the tattoo industry and tattoo artist around the world. Especially to the Saomans and their traditional tattoos.

When I looked at the trailers, I saw a scene where the "Hero" and a girl would make out and clothes come off. I did not see any of that in the movie in real time !! They probably censored a R21 movie, make it NC16, so more kids can go and watch.

Since they made it like that, why do Singaporeans complain about kids getting tattooed? Controvesy, controvesy, controvesy !! Again, they can't decide !! Asswipes, I should say...

Out of 100 stars, I would give only 1 star to it. Reason, there will be a scene where this chick will die in the hospital and the ink will be flowing through her body, pass her neck, skin opens and blood drips and it flows up to her eye and the eyeball bursts and blood flows out. I would give it up to the effects !! Other than that, the movie sucked.

So, boys and gals, just stick to Miami Ink. Love Ya All !!

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